Yoga with Max

When Max announced that he wanted to come to my yoga class with me this summer I wasn't sure what to think. He had come with me a couple of times before and enjoyed it but it was sort of a novelty and I wasn't sure if he could really commit to practicing the whole summer.

The other thing that gave me pause was this: I am very new to yoga. I'm a beginner. This means that sometimes in class I am clumsy and awkward. Sometimes I look up to see that I am way off base in a pose. Sometimes I fall out of tree pose and I often make this kind of "oof" sound as I come into downward dog.

Trying something new, being a beginner at something can be hard. Allowing yourself to actually be bad at something can be hard. Doing these things in front of your kid is even harder. We talk the talk about risk and vulnerability and trying things that do not come easy all the time with Max. With yoga, it was obviously an opportunity to walk the walk.

So we are practicing yoga together this summer. We roll our mats out side by side on Tuesday mornings and it is already such an incredible gift. I have been able to share the things I struggle with and be proud of the things I've gotten better at. (You should have seen my awesome planks this morning!)

At an age where your parents can be a little embarrassing, Max is willing to be with me in the sometimes struggle, sometimes awkward of yoga class and that makes me very happy.

You Would Think

You would think by the lack of posting around here that not much was going on right now, but that wouldn't really be true. In fact, it is exactly the opposite. There is a mighty bunch of things going on with me right now.

Some of these things are right out there on the surface. I'm working with life coach Jena Strong and so far it is the single most illuminating thing to come along for me in years and years. I've stumbled across some of my old swagger and bravery in the process and that has made these last few weeks a lot more fun. (Jena is beyond amazing and if you want to talk about what the coaching experience is like for me, email me. I will happily share.)

Here's where the bravery comes in. I've been thinking about yoga for twenty years. I've watched some videos, canvassed my yoga practicing friends for suggestions, looked up classes on line and done every single possible thing I can do to tap dance around the idea of a yoga class for years, except for one - go to a yoga class.

Yesterday, I went to my first yoga class. I was so nervous about going, my gremlins sounded like they were having a pep rally in a packed gymnasium clapping and chanting about how goofy I would look and how impossible it would be. I was way outside my comfort zone and I could feel it, deep in my body. Fear grabbed me by the neck and shook me around for about half the morning.

But I did it. I drove to the Y. I took deep breaths. I walked through the door and rolled out a mat and raised my hand, confessed my first time ever status and took the class.

It was fun and it was also very hard. Running has done nothing to prepare me for a yoga workout. The only time I felt awkward and self conscious was when I looked around at other people. As long as I focused on my self and what I was trying to gently coerce my own body into doing I felt fine, almost great.

I am sore six ways to Sunday today but I'm proud of myself for trying something new, for taking a risk, for taking that morning stroll outside my comfort zone and allowing myself to be a beginner.

I'm going back tomorrow.