The Kid and the Witte Museum

We went to the Witte Museum last week. (Remember, I wore my lemon lime shorts that internet loves?) We wanted to see the Genius of Leonardo exhibit before it disappears early in September. The Kid has a soft spot for inventors and a even softer spot for geniuses and we'd all been looking forward to it for most of the summer.

Now, historically, given our level of anticipation, there would be some major or minor semi-catastrophic event, personal injury or planning snafu that we would have to struggle through and someone would wind up in tears. But that is not what happened – we had fun.

The Kid enjoyed the hands-on nature of the exhibit.

It reawaken his own desire to create contraptions and inventions.

We created a domed arch in the "workshop".

Afterwards, I tried to steer the guys toward one of my favorite burger places but alas,

they were insistent that they must have pancakes for lunch. Majority ruled.

Here's the very best part. The Kid rode on the skybike which is easily 40 feet off the ground. As we stood in line and I watched the kid in front of us struggle, I tried to talk him out of it. I was certain that he would freeze and would have to be rescued by the attendant and then be upset. He was determined to do it and I was forced to stow all my fear in my back pocket as he marched up the stairs and climbed on. This child, this child is making a habit of proving his over-protective mama wrong.

Tke Kid on the Skybike from Laura on Vimeo.

He is awesome.

Summer’s End

Our summer is down to it's final days and we are busy doing the last few things on our summer list before the start of school on Monday.

We saw the animated Star Wars movie, The Clone Wars. (We've seen more movies this summer than we've seen in The Kid's entire life!) The Kid loved it and Lefty and I liked it too. It got some scathing reviews in the local media but I think as long as you go in with appropriate expectations (it's a cartoon, you know) it's a fun movie. We've watched all of the Star Wars movies this summer and have been reading the serialized YA novels for quite some time. Obi Wan Kenobi is sort of like a member of the family and Anakin is that black sheep cousin we can't help but love.

I made ribs for dinner on Saturday. We are a rib loving family and I promised I'd make them again before summer was over. My apologies to my vegetarian pals. I hope you can forgive me for my carnivorous ways.

We got our first pet. We have never had a pet - for a handful of really good reasons but our babysitting of The Kid's class hamster last year convinced him that he wanted a hamster of his own. Meet Albert Einstein – mostly we just call him Albert. He's a very friendly dwarf hamster, about the size of a fuzzy golf ball. (Sorry for the blurry photo – the darn thing would not be still, no matter how nicely I asked.)

What are your plans for finishing off the summer?

I Think I’m in Love

This is kind of embarrassing to admit but I'm usually kind of slow to embrace new technology. Computers, I've always loved them and heck, I spend a large portion of my existence sitting in front of one trying to remember how to spell, but I have been hesitant to move into the world of digital music. In fact, it was not that long ago that both Lefty and I could quote Brian Eno about digital corruption and argue long into the night with anyone who did not prefer the warmth of a recording on vinyl. I won't argue the pros and cons or voice my initial misgivings about digital music here - I am too busy rubbing two sticks together to make fire.

Relax. We did eventually start buying and listening to cds.

I still have cassette tapes, however, that I listen to just for their warped graininess. Mix tapes that my sister made for me, the guitar and voice of an old lover, tapes that sound as old as they are. I will always love these recordings because they exist in physical time, in memory.

You may recall that Santa brought The Kid a MP3 player for Christmas. I put some new songs on it before we left for vacation and wound up borrowing it while I walked on the treadmill a couple of times. It was a meaningless little flirtation but I fell hard, came home and ordered one for myself. Not a fancy ipod from the evil empire, just a simple little player from the same company that made The Kid's. It also has FM radio, good for an npr junkie and a little voice recording device that let's you record short notes to yourself, an excellent tool for the writerly me. I am always thinking of something I must write down when I am miles from pen and paper.

It is a startling experience to put those ear buds in and let music close around me , the rest of the world fades a bit. Normally, I have one ear cocked for the sounds of the other people I live with, Lefty's small sigh at being unable to find socks, The Kid's garbled yelp of "Mom" if he's had a bad dream or fallen with a thump out of his bed. Lefty often comments on how quickly I can jump up from a sound sleep and sprint into the next room. I tell him it's because I'm always half-listening, even asleep. This little chunk of black plastic gives me the chance to wrap some music around myself and get a little distance from all the other things I'm always listening for and I love it for that.

Out of Focus

I got so relaxed while we were on vacation I actually forgot about having to wash the dishes every night. The first night we were back, I tucked The Kid into bed and promptly sat down on the couch. A few minutes later I walked into the kitchen and was shocked at the dinner dishes just sitting there. I'd forgotten this was something I do - every night.

That being said you can imagine that I might be having a teensy bit of trouble getting my blogging back into focus. I spent yesterday scratching away at ideas for posts and I've got nothing to show for it.

Nothing.

Really.

And then The Kid was stood up for a playdate. A playdate he'd been looking forward to for days. A playdate with the best friend he's hardly seen all summer. A playdate that we actually cleaned for yesterday. He was so disappointed, he wailed.

Now it's raining.

Rain from Laura on Vimeo.

I think this calls for a movie and big bowl of popcorn. What do you think?

Home Again

We are home from vacation and we had a wonderful time. We spent the time just hanging out together – something that's been in short supply this summer. (Lefty's research took up a lot of time but was fruitful and as a pre-tenure professor, it was important for him to move things forward. He'll have a paper written by the time his review rolls around this year and that is a very good thing.)

We played. We swam. We ate good food. Lefty and The Kid kayaked out to an island and explored. I read and knit and spent a lot of time just looking out at the big beautiful lake. I left a lot of the chemo exhaustion on our doorstep – the relaxed pace of vacation helped me to feel less tired.

The Kid perfected his cannonball.


Max's Cannonball from Laura on Vimeo.

It was good to be away and now it's good to be home. I love this languorous time of year as summer is winding down. Don't you?

VACATION

Weekend Round Up

We've had a pretty mellow weekend, lots of playing and good food. This is a good thing because I am wiped out. I'm taking this as a sign that the chemo is doing it's job and I'm so exhausted because my immune system's working overtime blasting those pesky skin cells. But, whatever the reason, I am exhausted.

I had some BlogHer pangs – not because I wanted to go, because I didn't. It's just not my cup of tea or ball of wax or idea of a good time, but I just wondered how it was going – who was the drunkest, or craziest. I'm calling it long distance fly on the wall syndrome.

On Saturday, I had to go to Target and buy every member of our family underpants. The Kid had outgrown his latest and Lefty and I had wore our poor old undies into the ground. Nothing like new underpants to brighten up your day.

For those of you keeping score at home, here's the return of my nose stand in. The Kid helped me photoshop the image a little. It is a mighty humbling thing when your seven year old has to assist you in a computer task. As you can see, the edges are a little less distinct and the color is changing. I would describe it as dry and flaky.

Oh, and here are some clouds hovering over the bell tower on the Trinity campus this afternoon.


We went to the pool – ask me how much I love my new swim suit with the kicky little cover up skirt…

Summer Cut

Here's my hair before I left the house this morning (I think the shadow here is Bossy's seagull or The Kid's finger)



and here's what I came home with.

I love a summer haircut. My head feels 20 pounds lighter.



This photo is a lesson in self awareness for me. Talking to my mom this morning, she asked if I would post my new hair photo today and I said I would, but only from the back because I'm really self conscious about how this thing on my nose looks. You are looking right at the place on my nose where the biopsy occurred, where the area is beginning to swell and flake. Can you see it? This thing has become so huge in my mind, I have completely lost all perspective about how visible it is because, my friends, in this picture, I don't see a thing.

Now, the handheld magnifying mirror is another story.

Two Birds, One Stone

Behold, The Kid and I took a Bionicle friend to the zoo.

The Kid himself took these two hippo shots. I think he may be a budding photographer.





In light of all that transpired last week I want to promise that his blog will not become "The Skin Cancer Chronicles". I will continue to write about Lefty and The Kid and drinking wine and trying to write and parenting. This, any blog book will tell you, is my big mistake. I have no platform. I should just choose one thing and write about that and not be all over the map like this. Alas… So, when the scab fell off my biopsy site, which is actually my tumor, (can you see I'm still stumbling around in all this terminology – would it be okay if I just said "that thing, you know that thing on my nose?") I had this crazy, middle of the night idea that I would take a picture of my nose and thus share the skin ravaging chemo course with all of you fine folk. Fortunately, in the dawn's early light this seemed like kind of an icky idea. I do want a vehicle to talk about the process though, so…

this is my tumor stand in. I picked a moon crater because post-biopsy, the tiny spot on my nose resembles a crater more than anything else. As the chemo does it's job, I'll use this photo to demonstrate what's going on with my actual nose and in the process hopefully work on my Photoshop skills. Two birds, one stone!

Fingers Crossed

My Friday was split into two distinct sections. The morning, when The Kid and I went to the downtown library and came out with an armload of books and The Kid stepped in the fountain up to his calf and had to squish to the car with his left sneaker full of water and the afternoon, when I found out I have skin cancer.

The bump from my nose that was biopsied is a "superficial basal cell carcinoma". The superficial part makes it sound minor, doesn't it? Like a ding in your fender or the dining room wall – something that could be fixed with a little sandpaper or spackle.

The nurse got to the word carcinoma and I blacked out for a split second – my brain just stopped processing and just like in the movies, I had to ask her to repeat it. Then to spell it out, so I could scribble the words onto my datebook. Afterwards, I kept going back to the kitchen and looking at the penciled words, to be sure of what they really said.

Basal cell carcinoma is the most common type of skin cancer. The nurse repeated this several times as if the fact that it was common would make me feel better. The subtype, superficial, is the least common subtype. So, I have the least common subtype of the most common type of skin cancer.

It is highly treatable, especially when it is caught early and I have to believe we did catch this on the early side, despite the fact that I cancelled and rescheduled my appointment with the dermatologist FOUR times.

I've been waiting for this particular shoe to drop for the last ten years. I have very fair skin. I spent a large portion of my youth and childhood basically frying my skin in the hopes of getting a tan. I wanted, with all of my teenage heart, to be tan and blonde as the Stacey sisters across the street. Most of you have seen my hair, the blonde wasn't happening. But I thought if I just burned and peeled often enough, one summer day I would wake up with that beautiful toast colored skin I dreamed of.

I'm undergoing a six week course of topical chemotherapy which will turn the tiny spot on my nose to a nasty ulcerated looking lesion. When the lesion heals, maybe the cancer will be gone.

I am a believer and an optimist. I believe this course of chemo can work for me. I am also doing everything else in my power to ramp up my immune system and help my body fight off the cells that turned my life upside down yesterday.

I have always been straight with The Kid about sunscreen and why we use it, yet I have not used the word "cancer" when explaining all this to him. It's too loaded and some nasty kid on the playground will tell him I'm going to die and I cannot let that happen. We've talked about damaged skin cells and how my nose is going to look a lot worse before it looks better. As a parent, I hope I can teach him that seemingly innocent decisions, getting a tan, or smoking a cigarette or two can have serious, grown up consequences further down the road.

I keep thinking of all those summer afternoons on the beach, frying in the sun when I would have much rather been inside reading a book.

My fingers are crossed. If you want, you can cross yours for me too.

To Be Perfectly Honest

I got an email today from a blogging friend who asked how we are and I said we were well, which in a sense, is true.

What I did not say, and have not said here (which is beginning to feel dishonest), is that I had a biopsy of some tissue on my nose at the dermatologist on Wednesday and I am waiting to hear the results. I am waiting for my life to take a rather sharp turn - or to exhale. I hope they call and say "Oops, sorry. That chunk of your nose was actually just a chunk of your nose." No matter what the news, I find myself wondering about the kneejerk response not to write about it here when I've written so many rather personal things.

Honestly, I think my first response was that I didn't want to worry anyone – not until I know what's going on. For this same reason I am upbeat and do not say much about it on the phone with my mother or sister because they're on vacation, and who wants to listen to sobbing and fear on a cell phone at the lake?

But last night as I was tossing and turning and playing out every worse case scenario while trying not to itch the spot on my nose (which is healing nicely, thank you) I came to some sort of subconscious conclusion that has convinced me today that if I don't write about it, if I don't tell the internet my deepest fears, that it will somehow jinx me.

If I do tell you' all, I had a biopsy and I am so fricking worried my head is about to explode that it will somehow protect me from bad news, from that sharp turn.

I can be a deeply superstitious person, so here I am - saying I'm so scared and worried, my knees are weak.

Happy Birthday (sort of)

We celebrated The Kid's birthday on Saturday with a couple of rounds of laser tag and some cake. His actual birthday is December 27 (the same as Laura's!) so instead of trying to squeeze birthday juice out of two days after Christmas, we have his birthday party around his "half" birthday in June. We do celebrate his real birthday, but it's a mellow family thing. I usually bake him a cake. He gets to pick something fun for us all to do that day, and either choose what I cook for dinner, or pick a place to eat out. His summer birthday party is all yelling and chaos and great wads of SpongeBob butter cream. I tell you there is something about getting a handful of seven year olds together that cranks up their volume by about 300%.

There is also something mystical about a thin slice of leftover birthday cake at 10pm in a quiet house.

Now, guess what The Kid got for his birthday. Come on, guess!

Okay. I'll give you a hint.

Knock Out! from Laura on Vimeo.

Happy Anniversary

I have been blogging for one year today.

A year ago, I had no idea what I was getting into or what a fabulous community I would soon consider myself a part of - I got lucky, very lucky.

So leave me a comment to help me celebrate something new and shiny in my life - this blog, that's taken on a life of it's own and you, dear reader, who never fail to make me smile.

Have yourself a day and thank you, for making me feel at home out here.



I can't wait to see what lies ahead.

Flea Circus

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have fleas! In our house! And no pets! Go figure.

Tomorrow, we're throwing a little going away party for the feisty little critters and we have to be out of the house for a large chunk of the day. (No, I'm not wagging my laptop around town with me, although I was tempted.)

I'm leaving you with a question. My blogiversary is Thursday - one year of bloggy bliss! What should I do to celebrate?!



Photo courtesy of sideshowowrld.com

Something Else I’m Proud Of

Before

After

I cleaned off my desk!

Summertime and the Livin’ is Easy…

Fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high. (Just couldn't resist.)

We have had a strange beginning week of summer. With The Kid's strep throat and my summer cold that morphed into a full-blown sinus infection, we've begun our summer with dueling antibiotics.

The Kid and I have fallen into a pretty mellow pattern of together and apart time. We work or play at separate computers and talk back and forth between rooms. We read. We play. We eat lunch. I think I had forgotten what a pleasant companion my kid can be.

We've started on two of our summer projects. The Kid is learning to use Game Maker 7 and I believe he's a natural. If you ask nicely, I'll shoot some video of the game he's creating and share it with you.

I've also started teaching The Kid how to knit and despite the face he's making here, he's really picking it up quickly. We've been knitting a row or two together at bedtime.

Here's the best part – just now, I'm sitting in the rocking chair beside the computer where he's working on his game and he turned his head, caught me smiling at him and winked.

I think we're going to have a great summer.