So you write something like this and the universe gets this gleam in her eye and begins to throw things at you. Frank gets a staph infection. A plague of bugs. Day and days of rain and gloom. A weird smell in the laundry hamper. Frank's infection gets better and then reappears on a holiday weekend. And I am completely overwhelmed. Unglued.
Only I'm not. Well maybe I am a little bit. I can feel that dervish spin just below the surface but I'm trying to resist. I'm doing what I can, where I am, with what I have. I'm writing this instead of stomping through the house frantically gathering laundry. I'm knitting the toe of Max's new sock. I'm breathing, breathing breathing. I'm baking bread.
I'm letting go of what I thought this day would look like and accepting what is. (My sister would say, "It is what it is.") This is all I can do today and it will have to be enough.
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I'm a firm believer in the idea that God (or whatever Being is actually occupying that space) really does have a sense of humor (albeit, not a very good one sometimes) and likes to see us "dance".
ReplyDeleteThe way i see it....you're doing exactly what you need to be doing...handling it the best you can...and....laundry will get done later, Max's sock is getting a toe and you've got fresh-baked bread in the house....the smell of bread baking alone can remind most of us of the good that is around us and can help us keep it together.
sending healing thoughts to frank....and {{hugs}} to you.
The doctors will figure this out and he will be on the mend soon. Love and hugs and lighting my candles for you guys. xo nancy
ReplyDeleteLaura, I was on two rounds of antibiotics for an infection and the second round knocked it out. So I'm thinking good thoughts for Frank!
ReplyDeleteYou're doing the best you can...ALWAYS!! Perhaps it's time to seek out a little pleasure for yourself? Something small (or big), something for yourself? Stop and read a poem...stop and write a poem...stop and look out the window...stop and savor a glass of wine...anything, really--but for you, only you...
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