Thursday, September 25, 2008

Scar

With the second biopsy behind me, I can now consider myself skin cancer free (and yes, I did find a new dermatologist).


What's left to remind me is the scooped out part of my nose, my nose crater, the pothole that will be on the side of my nose for the rest of my life. It's small, smaller than a pencil eraser and perfectly round. It's about the size of the chicken pox scar on my forehead. It's smooth and pink now, completely healed.


This is what I like about it: I can touch it, feel those symmetrical edges and the smooth interior and know, the cancer is not back. Because recurrence is so common with basal cell carcinoma, this is reassuring. I can wake up every morning and touch it, see it in the mirror and know it's the same. As long as the scar remains unchanged, I will know the cancer's gone from that particular spot.


If there's a change, if the skin begins to grow back, I'll be able to see it immediately and make a beeline to my shiny new dermatologist's office and do something about it. I'm smarter now. I know more about my options.


So for now, I'm making friends with the little divot on the right side of my nose. It's a small imperfection, but a huge reminder that I'm okay, I'm alive. I am still here.

6 comments:

  1. Yay! to the new dermatologist! Yay! to the nose dimple, sure to spark a new trend!

    Sometimes the things that look so scary while I'm in the midst of dealing with them, turn out to be the things that I'm most grateful for, once I'm looking at them in the rear view mirror. New perspective and all that.

    (I visited from the Ashland Lanshark computer yesterday, but it was giving me a difficult time when I tried to leave comments.)
    xxxoooxxx

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  2. Thanks you'all. I'm feeling pretty content with my "war wound" and knowing that for this moment I'm in the clear.

    Have a lovely weekend!

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  3. Hi Laura,
    So glad you're feeling better.My mom had a cancer removed from her face about 35 years ago; she has lots of little things removed now (in the office) but no recurrence.

    also glad to hear you found a new doc!

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  4. Hi VM. I'm glad your mom has not had a recurrence - perhaps it's not as inevitable as some of the literature implies!

    Enjoy your weekend...

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  5. And we all heave a sigh of relief!

    That's fantastic--and scars are proof of strength and survival!

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