What I’m Reading

I have been reading all morning, pinned to the couch, riveted by The Stardust Lounge by Deborah Digges. It's a memoir of her youngest son's horrific adolescent plunge into gangs and drugs and violence. I sought the book out after hearing a reviewer talk about the second part of the story, how Digges never gives up, how she rejects all the conventional ideas of parenting and moves heaven and earth to save her son.

I knew I had to read this book. I knew because I would do anything for my boy too. My boy, who is seven and has not one single thing in his life to be saved from. He handles his own playground tussles with an occasional bit of dinner table advice. He accepts the rules of our household with as much grace as a child his age can muster. He knows what to expect from me – declining to name the new game he's playing on the playground because he knows I'll disapprove. He finally tells me, it is "Blood Bowl" and I ask, is it fun?

I know his friends play adult video games (a six year old & Halo 3? Really?). They hunt with their fathers. (Remember, friends, I live in Texas.) Blood Bowl is really just a game of tag with some unfortunate narrative twists. I am glad, I tell him later, that you have so much fun playing with your friends at school.

I try and give him the room he needs to be a little boy, to run with the pack at school but with limits. No guns (except for neon plastic water pistols). No adult video games. The Kid has never seen a newscast or any other adult television programming with the only exceptions being some Food Network and few carefully chosen sporting events.

We live in a military town and I am determined that military service not be romanticized. We answer questions about the war. We talk about disagreeing with the president and protesting for peace. We tell The Kid that war is not the answer, violence solves nothing.

I think he's grounded and well on the way to being prepared for the proving ground of adolescence. However, if something should go wrong, if he should take a turn toward the dark side I know I will do anything, move heaven and earth to save him. I will never give up. I already knew this about myself, Deborah Digges is just reminding me.