Sunday, July 5, 2009

See How We Are

If you are one of those people who want to believe that it is all goodness and light over here at One of Three - that we are always one small, happy family with just more hair than other families, then look away. Skip this one and come back later.

We mean well, we really do. We started with the very best of intentions. Keep that in mind as I tell the woeful tale of our fourth of July.

We were invited to a party thrown by a "Distinguished Professor" in Lefty's department, who despite the sort of prissy title, is an awesome, friendly guy – someone we really like. With his tenure review just around the corner, Lefty thought it would be good to attend so we drove an hour and a half through the rolling hills west of San Antonio

to the ranch where the party was being held. It was really beautiful, a view to die for with a gorgeous pool,

and all kinds of lovely places to sit and looked out at the hills around us. We sat on a swing suspended from a tree and sighed collectively.

The Kid really wanted to swim (we had promised him swimming) and Lefty had to be in the pool with him because he's not a very strong swimmer and I could not be in the pool because I am a fair damsel with a skin cancer diagnosis under my belt and I don't do full on South Texas afternoon sun when it is, I kid you not, 105 degrees. So, The Kid wanted to swim and swim some more and thus did not eat enough food and got cranky, sulky, back-talk-your-mama-cranky. I didn't eat much because I was busy encouraging The Kid to eat and dealing with his side order of attitude. I was miserably hot and lightheaded from the heat. Frank was frustrated that he got very little time to hang out with his colleagues. Can you see the exhaustion and hunger and frustration beginning to add up?

It was not a pretty ride home, and not a pretty scene once we got here. There were tears and yelling and finger-pointing. But then there were apologies and kind words and making up. We finished the evening on a good note. We all recovered. We vowed to find a way to do it better next time.

See how we are?


  1. How are you? Way above average, in my book.

    Lord knows my own family of three has been there--looking forward to something and wanting so much to just enjoy each other--and then everything falling apart.

    It's the making up part that matters--and it sounds like you have that down.

  2. Amen. I believe that the things learned through the sincere making up period are what stick with us. At least that's what I fervently hope.

  3. Thanks, Karen.

    And hi Tamara, thanks for the comment.

  4. I remember many occasions of tears, and yelling, and finger-pointing, and then one day, suddenly, it all stops, and you yearn for the days of connection so intimate that tears and yelling and finger-pointing were part of your relationship repertoire.

  5. Goodness and light all the time is not all it's cracked up to be. Goodness and light all the time is most likely an act, and it's only in real life do we see the ugly bits sometimes. At least you all know where you stand, and are all okay now.

  6. I love you families of three. We were one, once, for about 5 years. It was sweet. (I forgot all of the yelling bits. I'm FIFTY.)

    Your story makes me feel better about last night when Mer came in around 12:30. The dog -- sleeping in my room -- started barking his fool head off, and skittering around on the newly refinished floors. I hollered for someone to please bring the dog and shut him in my room, did a few select grumbles about the whole house being awakened like this many nights, then puncheded my pillow and went to sleep grumpy! Oh, yeah, when the dog came up to me, tail thumping apologetically, I pushed him away, none-too-gently. Grr.

    Now, I will put on a fresh pot of coffee to make peace with my daughter. Everything always looks brighter in the morning. And you three are the sweetest little family. :)

  7. Sunshine can be so evil. It's not you 3, it's the damn sun and those wicked reflective rays.

    Come to the Oregon coast with us next time and it won't be a problem. It's impossible to get those little wild ones out of the pool once they're in, isn't it? We had a similar situation last week -- sad, sad, sad. Sunburns and tears. I asked my husband, how can something that feels so good turn out so bad?

    Too much sunshine and water is like dating the wrong guy or something. Seems like a good idea at the time, but later? Not so much.

  8. Our trip to Oregon next summer is becoming quite the topic of conversation as this heat wave goes on and on.

  9. You will come out here and never want to leave, just like everyone else ;)

  10. Sounds like Leave it to Beaver!
    Ward would've been sore at June if he'd had to spend the day with the "Beav"

  11. It sounds like the perfect metaphor for the tenure process. Hot, lightheaded, and full of melt-downs.

    If this didn't happen in other families, I would cry.