I have had insomnia for the last two nights. While it is not unusual for me to have some trouble sleeping, to suffer two nights in a row is out of the ordinary. Also, this is not my usual signature insomnia. Usually, I fall asleep effortlessly but wake up in the night, unable to go back to sleep. (I am a notoriously light sleeper and menopause has not helped much in this regard.) The last two nights I have been unable to fall asleep at all. I get sleepy, go to bed and my brain immediately goes into hyper drive. My mind spins and I lay there grinding my teeth, trying to will it to shut up already and go to friggin' sleep! The longer this goes on, the more anxious and frustrated I become.
I should, I know, get up and read or knit or hang out on Facebook like the other insomniacs I know (Hi, Duncan!) – and I vow to do this tonight if I find myself in the same boat. I am hesitant because every single time, I am convinced that any minute now, I will relax and fall asleep and getting up will just make it that much longer and oh my god it is already two a.m. and I am going to be miserable tomorrow and on and on until my head explodes…
Losing sleep makes me edgy. I would give almost anything for a nap. I came close to falling asleep standing up in our local guitar store this afternoon! But I am determined to sleep tonight, so, no nap for me.
Wish me luck tonight and if you see me on Facebook in the middle of the night, send me some sheep to count.