How to Make It Rain in a Drought

• Get a very bad night's sleep because of a wonky thermostat, night sweats, the John Mellencamp song on permanent loop in your brain, or all of the above.
• Run two miles.
• Leave car window down.
  
• While child is reading books in his room, recline on couch and fall into a deep exhausted middle of the day sleep, the kind where when you wake up you're not quite sure where you are for a few seconds.
• Sleep for 15 minutes.
• Wake to you've-got-to-be-freakin'-kidding-me torrential rain.
• Jump up, run outside and hastily roll up car window, whacking yourself in the jaw with the car door as you close it.
• Ten minutes later, just like the itsy bitsy spider, watch the sun come out and dry up all the rain.